Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
