Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
