is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize