i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
