I want to make a zoo with you.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
