You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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