Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
