Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
