Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
