I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
