I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
