how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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