Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
