I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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