I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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