Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
