Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
