is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Enjoy the penises
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
