I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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