Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
