Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
