Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
