I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
