We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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