so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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