My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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