...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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