I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
