Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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