How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
