Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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