Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
