I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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