So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
