It's Friday. Sex?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
