Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
