Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
