I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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