So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
