it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
