I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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