Banned from zoo.
Again?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
