They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
