i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
