To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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