Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
