First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
