a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
