So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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