Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
from now on my penis is your penis
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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