i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
