Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize