I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
