are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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