I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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