Duck Duck Cougar?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
