Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She needs sedatives and a leash
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
